If you’re going to get into an argument with me & you call me “hun” I will slit your knee caps & ship you to Antarctica
*plays with tie nervously at job interview*
"Sorry, I’ve never had a job interview and I’m nervous haha."
"That’s okay just please stop playing with my tie and sit on your side of the desk"
(Source: a-world-in-harmony, via senpai-has-noticed-you)
My costume this year….
The best part about it was that all day I got guys asking “who the fuck are you supposed to be?” And I just kept saying “Why are you such a skeez? you can go shave your back now.”
And then all the girls were like “OMG REGINA!” and I would be like “Why are you so obsessed with me??”
im sitting down
no youre not
i stand corrected
Omg I just exfoliated my lips for the first time. They feel freaking awesome. Everyone do it.
All I did was use a small amount of sugar and a dab of olive oil and rubbed it on my lips and BAM smooth as butter lips after I washed it off with warm water. I can’t stop puckering up like a primadonna. I love it.
I should exfoliate more often.
it is your 16th birthday. your father has told you that he is taking you somewhere for a surprise. he takes off the blindfold. “here we are. at the nissan dealership.” you are excited. you think you are getting a car for your birthday. you walk in the door. there are no cars. there are only boys. “happy birthday, son. you’re getting a big brother”
(Source: iiiarclight, via kakashihotake)
MY MOM JUST TOLD ME TO CREMATE HER AND PUT HER ASHES IN AN HOUR GLASS SO THAT EVEN AFTER SHE’S DEAD AND GONE SHE CAN CONTINUE TELLING ME HOW MUCH TIME I’M WASTING.
wedding vows: ur not anime but ur ok i guess
shoutout to girlcode for being fabulous
Be prepared to participate in no dick december
be prepared to be told that no one wants your misogynistic dick anyway you arrogant shit
I love it when guys use sex as a bartering tool like IF YOU DON’T LOOK PERFECT AND SPARKLY ALL THE TIME I’M NOT GOING TO PLEASE MYSELF WITH YOU
like BITCH THEY LITERALLY SELL DICKS BIGGER THAN YOURS I DON’T NEED SHIT FROM YOU